Here is an introduction to retreating in the darkroom I built at Lake Atitlan, Guatemala (now run by a woman named Ajna*). It may also be useful in making darkness and retreating at home. If you do not understand or agree with something here, do not worry about it. Like Finn told us, ”just git in the room.” It will show you anything you really need to know.
I provide:
- Room
- absolutely, completely, utterly dark: not a pinprick, haze or glimmer of light
- sound-dampened (not soundproof but very quiet)
- well-ventilated (silent, solar powered fan keeps air fresh)
- warm to cool temperature
- painted concrete floor and ceiling
- ceiling is low: 2 meters, with beam in middle that is 10cm lower
- walls: 2 cinder block, 1 stone, 1 adobe with 2 double-thickness solid wooden doors w/lock
- Security
- keys to the three doors between you and the road
- optional, foolproof cellphone in a lightproof bag in case of emergency
- I live upstairs
- Bed
- new foam padding, aired out regularly
- single size
- mattress cover with wool and cotton layers
- bedding
- pillow
- Floor mat
- Hammock
- Inversion swing (to give your spine a break)
- Bathing
- wash water on tap
- wash basin
- towel rack and towels
- shower
- Toilet
- modern composting type
- ventilated: air from room exits through toilet box so only when in use is odor present
- custom platform for sitting or squatting
- Table
- dining table height, extra long (8/240cm)
- space for belongings
- space for eating
- drinking water dispenser
- large bowl, plate, knife, fork, spoon, sharp knife
- Food
- pure drinking water
- fresh fruit and greens: whole, ripe, raw, well-washed, properly combined, and amply provided
- one large salad, sweet or savory, served at midday, plus whole fruits and vegetables for eating anytime
- not served: salt, spices, ferments, onions, garlic, ginger, or fat.
- NOTE: Due to lack of distraction, darkness presents a near-miraculous opportunity both to finally eat well and to interrupt the malnourishing, emotionally repressive, and sedative relationship with food from which nearly all of us suffer. Likewise, poor diet hampers the rapid process of restoration possible in darkness. Please send me any questions or concerns you have about the menu. For more about the natural diet of human beings, please read The 80/10/10 Diet by Dr Douglas Graham.
Things to bring
- Personal items
- pajamas/lounging clothes
- sweater
- slippers
- water bottle
- Not to bring:
- drugs, alcohol, smokables (preferably not for 24 hours before, either)
- electronic devices that make sound or light–audio players, watches, clocks, cellphones.
- If you must bring any of these things, stash them during the retreat. If you think you might be tempted to use them, you may store them with me.
- Optional
- special food or medicine
- musical instruments
- exercise equipment (yoga mat, etc)
- your own bedding or pillow
Darkroom Mechanics
- Please eat dinner before you come.
- Please arrive between 5:30 and 5:45 pm.
- Use the back end of the table for your clothing. Leave the front for food and water.
- Before blowing out the candle, get used to the room. Test finding things with your eyes closed.
- Food comes through a slot in the wall in a large bowl. There is another bowl just like it in the room already. After a meal, keep extra food in one bowl to eat later, and send food scraps back through the slot in the other.
- Fresh air enters the room above the bed and exits through the toilet.
- After peeing, put one scoop of sawdust into the toilet. After pooping, two scoops.
- Shower water is warmest between 10 am and 12 noon. Just let it run a minute first, then slow water down as much as possible for a 5-10 minute warm shower.
- Things slowly go out of place in the darkroom. If you would like the bed remade, the mat straightened, lost shoes found, etc, just let me know.
- Use the scratch paper provided to write me a note. Put it in the food box. Bend it in half so it stands up and I am sure to see it.
- Hammocks work best when you lie diagonally in them.
- Noise: sometimes you will hear me moving around upstairs and outside. Sometimes I drop things. Strong wind also causes stuff stored on the roof to faintly bang and knock. Nearby work and vehicles and talking people going by are audible. Someday, I hope we can do retreats in the center of Mayan pyramids.
- In the morning and night, I will be upstairs if you need anything. Just knock on the ceiling or, if you hear me outside, knock on the door. In the daytime, I sometimes go out to run errands and get food. If this makes you nervous, I will leave you with a cellphone in a light-proof bag so you do not have to spoil your retreat to use it. It has one functional button that will call me in case of emergency.
- So you can re-adjust to light slowly, I will wake you on your last morning before first light (about 05:00) and take you to a place above the house with a great view to sit and watch the sky light up and the sun rise.
Advice
- Please read as much of the darkness content on this site as possible. Naturally, I think it is all riveting, but at least read four darkness experiences and hygiene of darkness.
- The main purpose of the retreat is to rest. This enables the organism can accumulate the vital energy it needs to heal deep, psychic injuries way beyond the reach of the will. Your principal task is to sleep.
- When you are awake and need something to do, look at the darkness. It is a genuinely benign place to put your attention. This external focus helps calm the mind and it can be unexpectedly absorbing. As Osho said, ”Let darkness into your eyes.”
- Darkness seems to be a portal to the dreamworld. Many of us have reported seeing unusual lights and images. These moments have a highly objective quality, are intensely absorbing and bracing. The images seem to be lit or projected from outside. Images of a more subjective nature can also play on the ”screen” of darkness before you. They seem related to the subconscious and can be wearying. If ever they become too much, concentrate on the darkness itself, which is sometimes behind, sometimes in front of the imagery.
- Please consider any grand spiritual purpose to which you might put this retreat as part of what you are retreating from, including addressing specific issues. Really: you can let it all go here, and whatever is valid will come back. The autonomic functions of the organism will deal with some of the rest of what we often regard as our moral responsibilities. Darkness retreating is not primarily an active process (like spiritual practice). It is a primarily passive process, requiring minimal effort on your part, exactly like waiting to heal in a hospital bed.
- Thus, you need not make yourself meditate, pray, chant, etc. If you feel moved to do so, do not stop yourself.
- This process is as foolproof as possible. Given the conditions of rest—most of which are built into the room itself—you will heal. The organism is the principal actor. Your job is to support its self-healing process by conserving energy, including the energy expended by attention. If you really need something to do in darkness, observe your compulsion to do things. Observe your holding on to things.
- That said, it seems to be easy to forget two things in the darkroom: to drink water and to move. So if there is anything to work at inside, it is to drink enough water, at least two liters a day, and to exercise, even for a few minutes. Water coats the nerves, making your time in darkness emotionally smoother. Exercise helps you get to sleep, feel less out-of-sorts, prevent muscle atrophy, and, interestingly, maintain the psycho-physical ”space” in which healing occurs.
- Talk only if necessary. Chatting drains energy.
- Commonly, people want to leave the property upon exiting the darkroom due to an unaccustomed increase in their energy levels and sense of well-being. They have a sharpened sense of anticipation about their lives and feel more in their bodies: ready to go. But rather than blow off this energy, plan to stay at the house to absorb some of it at least one hour for every day you spent in darkness. You will also likely need time to re-orient to light and gravity; to reflect on what has happened; and generally refrain from getting carried away.
- If you would, please write for me a description of what happened before you go, while it is fresh in your memory. Reading these reports (which I do not share) has been extremely useful to me in improving the darkroom, understanding the process, and presenting it to others.
Time and money
- Recommended retreat length: 3 nights/2 days
- Cost: was Q500/$70. Ask Ajna for current price.
- Deposit payable at time of reservation
- Cash and PayPal accepted
Ready to retreat Please register here.
*Ajna is running the retreat in her own way. So some of the above may no longer apply. Write her for details of her approach.